37 Candles on a Cake
I’m 37 today. And it has been a rough week, because I’m one of those crazy people who struggles with getting older. My husband has no issues AT ALL with getting older, at least so he says. I wonder if he knows how annoying that can be? Anyway, it’s not the getting older in and of itself that causes me issues. I don’t love the gray hairs, but they don’t make me cry. I use more moisturizer but I accept that the wrinkles and lines are going to appear and ultimately they are just signs of living and living is a good thing. I’m not rushing off to surgery or pretending I’m younger than I am.
BUT. But. I don’t like having to see another candle on the cake and realizing that I let a whole year go by without as much progress as I’d hoped towards certain goals or dreams. I don’t think things magically happen to us (I wish sometimes, but I don’t actually think it), so when I blow out my birthday candles and make a wish I realize I need to make changes if I want my “wish” to come true. And yet here I am, all this time passed and I remember all my plans last summer when my birthday rolled around. How do I do it differently this year? Where does that focus and that ability to really get serious about a desire come from?
I like to think I was on track last year until the pneumonia derailed me, but that doesn’t really explain the lassitude that took over sometime this spring. I’m working to break free of it, maybe after this cranky week is over. Maybe tomorrow (no wonder they say “tomorrow” is the day most diets are slated to start). And maybe is a good work for a procrastinator. I should probably stop using that stupid word. Stupid is another word I should stop using, it’s been a problem in this house lately (not actually me though I must say, and that’s a story for another day, or never, because really who hasn’t done the kids using words they shouldn’t thing? Do you really want to hear about that boring part of mom-life? Yeah, me neither.)
I did at least register for my next Sociology course. Only another 20 something courses to go after that and I’ll have a degree. Maybe not by the 40 I’d hoped for, but I guess 41 is a good year to graduate too.Photo Birthday Cake © Robo Android from Flickr, Creative Commons Licensed