No Prompt – Just Plain Speaking
Day 3 of NaBloPoMo and I’m already veering away from my plan! I will mostly be using prompts but today I actually need to share or maybe not even share just plain old spill my guts.
Yesterday I had a mom fail. I was on my way (DH was driving) towards my 9yo’s soccer game, looking up the field location on my phone when I realized I had, for days, been looking at the wrong line on the schedule and that in fact his game was already OVER. And I felt so horrible. I should really know better by now – I made the same type of mistake for oldest child in his last outdoor soccer season, although that time we did make it for the second half.
This time though, nope, we had already missed the whole game and I am vowing to find a better way to manage their soccer schedules – well maybe even just their schedules in general. I have no idea what will actually work though. For starters I have at least actually made the effort to enter every single game in my phone/gmail calendar so that I get a popup reminder. The problem is I often just glance at the schedule I keep in Dropbox instead of the calendar. That schedule is row after row of games, not all of which are actually my child’s. They play as part of a grouping and there are three “rows” for each weekend set of games. Only one of those is for my son, and the other two games involve the other teams in his group. Yesterday, I looked at the wrong week’s worth of games. Ugh!
I spent the rest of the day yesterday mentally beating myself up for the mistake. And I know that I shouldn’t do that – it doesn’t make anything better, it doesn’t even mean I won’t do it again sometime. And my 9yo wasn’t unhappy with me. Well, he said he wasn’t. But he is a middle child and I am terrified I’m going to mess him up in subtle ways because of his place in our family. Already soccer has created issues this way. I coach the 5yo’s team. I am assistant coach and have regularly coached the 11yo’s team for several seasons. But when 9yo decided he was playing soccer I had already committed to the other two’s teams and I simply could not take on another coaching assignment. And sometimes there are conflicts and because I coach the other ones I pick their practices/games first and grandma or dad takes 9yo. And I hate that! I don’t like choosing. I don’t like not being able to do it all. Last year I wouldn’t even let the 5yo join soccer because I didn’t want to end up in the position of choosing. I told him he was too young for soccer 🙂
Well, today I have to move on from my internal struggle. I have a U14 game to coach at and some work bookkeeping training to attend. No time leftover for self-flagellation.
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