Struggling Through

By on 2-22-2016 in Featured, Laurie and Life

Struggling Through

I spent my whole weekend consumed with soccer. I took Big Kid to practice Friday night, then I had a practice. Saturday involved three post-season games and Sunday was two more post-season games (which involved two medal ceremonies – both boys’ teams won silver!) PLUS a long soccer executive meeting. My poor dog got much shorter walks than normal and my step counts sure reflected the time spent in the car and in the soccer stands.  In fact on Saturday I was at three different soccer centres – I think that was a first for me!

On top of the soccer, soccer, soccer there was plenty else going on over the past week. Middle Kid had parkour class and a playdate, Big Kid had track practice, ski club and he went to a birthday party (a boy-girl get together!) and oh yeah, my best friend had twins that I had to spend a little time visiting! They are so tiny and so precious.

I have frequently told people that the only way I can keep things vaguely sane with a husband who works out of the province, three boys and a home business is to somewhat limit my kids’ activities. Especially because I think kids need unplanned time and we need family time. And yet somehow this time of year always is beyond chaotic for activities – especially for Big Kid. He only has the one activity I put him into (soccer of course), but he is doing so much that is school related. Ski club, 200m relay team and training for the Vancouver Sun Run. I think he is getting burned out and I’m worried he’ll end up with some overuse injuries. How do you decide which things he doesn’t get to do though? Outside of this Feb-Mar period, he really doesn’t do so much at all (just soccer basically!) so  I guess for now we just have to make sure he gets plenty of rest, water and food to keep him going.

I’m not really keeping things sane lately anyway though, and I really can’t blame Big Kid or the younger boys, because it’s *me* that is really the problem. I’m just struggling. Struggling with energy, struggling with worrying, struggling with guilt about the person I wish I was. Ever since I got myself a giant rescue dog I have been walking way more – and it does help my mental state, but not quite as much as I hoped it would. I still don’t eat well, I still don’t sleep enough and I still feel this general dissatisfaction with where I am. I spend lots of time thinking about what would “fix” things, but I solve nothing and later just feel bad wasting time trying to solve an unresolvable problem. I’m going to figure it all out someday, right? I found an image for this post that hopefully inspires me (and maybe you!) – the struggle IS going to make me stronger.