The Unmentionable Injury

By on 1-09-2013 in Featured, Hoping for Health

The Unmentionable Injury

Be forewarned, this post may contain some details you do not care to hear. Feel free to stop reading if you don’t have in interest in hearing about bruising, swelling or pain in my lady parts. If you do read along feel free to laugh at my idiocy or murmur sympathetic ouches. 

So the other day I posted about how I was getting on track with my workouts and such. I totally amwas too. I even got on my bike that same afternoon to get in some exercise. I ride a bike on a trainer in my basement. The space is nothing special, but hey there is a tv and I can watch episodes of Parenthood while I ride. I’m only on season one, because somehow I missed the train on how good this show was – so loving it!

The scene of the, accident.

Anyway, as usual I was a little behind schedule. I only had an hour before school pick ups and I had to switch my husband’s bike off the trainer, put mine on and get a move on. A little oil on my fingers from the bike chain, a little bit of effort and I was ready to ride. Things were going well, I hadn’t even hit any teary parts of my show yet and suddenly everything went wrong. Very, very, VERY wrong. I dropped my water bottle. Okay, that’s not exactly a tragedy or wrong, but what happened next…not pretty. I decided I just had to pick that stupid water bottle up. I unclipped one foot from the pedal, leaned over and then I went BOOM. Somehow I ended up tipped on my side, one foot still clipped to a pedal. Do you know what happens when you fall off and on your bike at the same time? Your girl parts hit the bar. Super hard. Apparently this can be termed a “straddle injury”. It is much more violent than it sounds. Ouch, ouch and ouch some more. I have a bruise bigger than my hand on my bottom, my whole perineal area is super swollen (I swear it is worse than after giving birth and I had third degree tearing and an episiotomy) and I cannot sit down properly. It’s been two days and I still cannot sit down properly! I am totally off workouts for a little while I guess. I’m only comfortable lying face down at the moment, or curled on my couch in exactly the right position to take the weight and pressure off the bruised and swollen mess.

The moral of this story is simple. Don’t be lazy!!! If I’d just spent two seconds to unclip both of my feet, I’m pretty sure I’d be standing here today without bruises and swollen girl parts. Actually…I’d be sitting 😉


Photo © Dawn Hudson –